There’s something oddly underrated about touching yourself… with someone else watching. Mutual masturbating isn’t some backup plan when you don’t want sex. It can be the whole plan! Some folks like the control. Others like being watched. And some just want to feel less alone when they get off. Whatever your reason, if you’ve been curious about sharing those moments with someone else, this is your guide to making it actually hot.

And if you’re the type who’d rather skip small talk and find a spot where people actually want to do this too, the best mutual masturbation sites are full of folks looking for exactly that.

What Is Mutual Masturbation

Mutual masturbation is when two (or more) people are masturbating in front of each other. It can happen in person, on a video call, or even with audio-only if you’re more into hearing than seeing. It doesn’t need to lead to sex or even touching each other at all.

How to Find People Who Masturbate With Others Online

There are many options. People are out there, looking to masturbate together online just like you are. But they’re not usually hanging out on your regular apps. Go where people are already thinking sexually, not pretending they’re just there to chat about their pets.

Sites like Jerkmate are full of open-minded performers and fans who love this kind of kink. OneNightFriend is more casual but surprisingly full of people into mutual kinks. CamSoda is wilder, more interactive, and full of exhibitionists ready to show off or watch.

Don’t treat mutual masturbation online like a date. Be honest in your profile, say exactly what you’re looking for, don’t be weird in the first message, and you’ll have a lot of fun.

Why Do People Want to Masturbate With Someone?

It hits differently. For some, it’s about showing off and feeling sexy. For others, it’s about watching someone lose control in real time. You get to see what they like, what gets them there, what noises they make. It’s like live porn, except they’re into you.

And if you masturbate with someone who doesn’t feel pressure to perform or fake it, the honesty makes the sessions special. You’ll learn things. You’ll see real bodies doing real things. It’s raw and personal and doesn’t need to be “perfect” to be insanely hot.

Tips To Masturbate With Someone Online Safely

Before anything else, boundaries. If you’re going to masturbate with someone online, you need to talk first: what you’re into, what you’re not okay with, how long you want the session to last, and if you’re using video, audio, or text.

• If you’re sending video or joining a live call, don’t show your face unless you’re totally fine with it. 
• No real names, no sharing your location, and ideally use a burner email or a platform that hides your identity. 
• If you’re recording anything, ask. Actually, unless they’re super into it, just don’t. 
• Don’t disappear right after! While it’s not a date, basic decency still applies.

Comfortable Ways to Masturbate Together in Person

If you’re in the same room and want to masturbate together, positioning is everything. Facing each other on the bed is classic, but not always comfortable. Some people prefer being side by side, so they can watch without feeling like they’re performing. Others like sitting on separate chairs across the room.

Lighting matters too. Too bright feels clinical. Too dark, and you’re squinting to see what’s going on. 

You don’t need to be silent. Moans, dirty talk, and gasps all make the moment better. Just don’t fake it. Real reactions are hotter than any porn-style exaggeration.

How to Masturbate With Partner When They’re Hesitant

If your partner isn’t sure about mutual masturbation, don’t throw the whole fantasy at them on night one. Suggest masturbating in the same bed without touching. Or just watching each other first. Make it feel natural, not like a scene from a scripted show. You could say, “I want to see what turns you on,” or “I get turned on just watching you.”

It’s okay if they say no at first. Not everyone is ready to be vulnerable like that. But if they are, go slow. Let them guide it. And if you ever masturbate with partner who’s still a little nervous, keep the compliments coming. They’re doing something new, so they deserve to feel sexy doing it.

Should You Ever Jerk Off With Other People Platonically?

Some people genuinely just like the idea of being seen. Some don’t want anything romantic or sexual beyond that shared release. There’s a whole world of people who jerk off with other people they aren’t into and enjoy it.

It can be a way to feel less alone. Or to experiment with voyeurism and exhibitionism without the pressure of sex. If both of you are clear on the setup (no flirting, no touching, just a shared moment), it works.

Just don’t assume it’s casual unless you’ve talked about it.

What’s Better: Mutual Masturbating or Watching Porn Together?

Both have their moments. Watching porn together can be a shared turn-on, but it’s also passive. You’re watching other people do the fun stuff. When you’re masturbating together, it’s about you two. You become the show.

It’s also a confidence booster. You start seeing each other’s quirks, routines, expressions, and it becomes this real, raw thing. So while porn can set the mood, masturbation together builds something more personal.

That said, you can always combine both. Porn on in the background, with both of you going at it works too.

Mutual Masturbation Ideas to Try

Feeling stuck in the same rhythm? Try switching up where you do it. In front of a mirror, on a video call, or with a blindfold and voice only. You can read erotica to each other. Set a timer and edge together. Try specific mutual masturbation positions: one standing, one lying down. Or both sitting with your knees touching.

Use toys if you’re into that. Use oil, music, and countdown games. Make it a challenge: “Let’s see who finishes first.” Or try doing it in sync. Sometimes the best mutual masturbation tips are the simplest: look, touch, listen, repeat. You don’t need to make it theatrical. Just make it honest.

How to Masturbate With Someone Online Without It Getting Weird

Don’t jump into a video call and start touching yourself before you even say hi. Build the tension. Start with messages. Flirty ones. Move to audio. Then maybe video.

If you’re wondering how to masturbate with someone online without it turning awkward, just don’t overthink. Smile, say what you’re into, ask what they like, and keep the camera angle flattering (nobody wants to see your ceiling fan for ten minutes).

Also, keep tissues nearby. That part never changes.

Conclusion

Mutual masturbation can be anything: flirty, kinky, soft, intense, goofy. It can be full-on naked, or just talking dirty while touching under your clothes. Whether you masturbate with someone online or lie side by side doing your own thing, the point is to share something personal.

There’s no pressure to make it perfect. You’re allowed to laugh. You’re allowed to stop. And if you find someone who makes you feel good just by watching you feel good? That’s kind of the magic.

So go ahead. If you’re into it, find a masturbation partner who’s just as into watching you as you are into watching them. It might just become your new favorite thing.